Monday, March 1, 2010

Saturday Morning: Finding Heaven on Earth



To be admitted to Nature's hearth costs nothing. None is excluded, but excludes himself. You have only to push aside the curtain. ~Henry David Thoreau


This Saturday my soul found a little corner of heaven to rest in as it breathed deeply for the first time in quite awhile. Heaven's white shawl covered the earth and trees when I opened the blinds to the sliders to take our puppy outside. I froze...my hand suspended, having just released the cord. This warranted my attention. It was as if all of nature was reflecting brightly the glory of God for all who dared to look upon it.

Oh I dared and I drank richly!...I was so blessed because that day I had been given the opportunity of a day free from any responsibility. That day had been set aside for our kids to spend with my parents and I already had their sleds and gear packed in the back of the van. Showers taken we headed out, them happy to spend a day with their grandparents and me, anticipating some time out in nature.

After I had dropped them off, on my way back home to my sleeping husband, I pulled into the state forest near our house. I love this place!! It is so important to have nature available to people and state forests are a great place for people to connect...and reconnect to nature. I had my camera and was excited to capture some of the wonder in my lens and recreate it digitally for all to see. I attempted to do that in the picture above.

That day was such a day of restoration for me. I feel closest to God when I am surrounded by His creations. I find myself more at home deep in the belly of a forest than at some social gathering among others. It is where my soul can take flight and feel free. I believe we all can find comfort and relief and even ourselves in nature. And maybe even, if one opens their hearts and spirits to its glory...a piece of heaven itself.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Richard Foster's Book Prayer


I love to read and have been reading quite a bit lately. One of the books I've really enjoyed is a book by Christian writer Richard Foster. It's titled : Prayer...and it's content is appropriately on the very subject of its title. I love his writing style. Sometimes I get a little turned off by sappy sentimental Christian prose. I like the real stuff and that's exactly what Richard Foster gives his readers.


He breaks down prayer into different types which I found very helpful. I never knew there were so many ways to pray! I found it helpful because I've had difficulty praying lately so, for example, liturgical prayer...which I never really considered, is a good option for me. I am used to having to make up my own prayer..talking to God...but as of late that's been difficult. I don't have much to say to God...I'm not sure he really wants to hear it anyways. But liturgical prayer takes the stress of having to think of something to say and let's me focus on the words and try to find God in the moment.


Anyways, I would highly recommend the book! Our puppy is barking right now and my son is about to wake up any moment...my daughter s already on the couch watching Clifford. It'll be a busy day of taking her to school than the doctor's, reading stories and helping them paint. Yes..I told them today they could paint...break out the drop cloths!


Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Quote from the Dhammapada

"Look how he abused me and hurt me,
How he threw me down and robbed me."
Live with such thoughts and you live in hate.
"Look how he abused me and hurt me,
How he threw me down and robbed me."
Abandon such thoughts, and live in love.

~ Dhammapada (Choices)

Mommy, does everyone go to heaven??

The question I haven't wanted to hear has finally surfaced. Last night my daughter asked it. There was a time when I would have answered with earnest that only those who accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior will find eternal salvation in his presence and go to heaven. But now...things aren't as black and white lately. Finding some inspiration in Buddhist mediations...looking at the Bible more critically and struggling with the character of God...I couldn't look her in the eye and say "no...not them...not the people that don't believe in Jesus...they don't go to heaven." I couldn't say that. I think because I don't believe that anymore....

How did I answer the question?

Like a heretic.

I told her I believe that to know and experience God's character and reality in the fullest way we accept Jesus as our Savior. But that those who have God in their hearts and see His Glory through His creations...well...how could God not let them also enter into heaven?...So...I believe they do too. Faithful Jews, muslims, buddhists...

I know the problem isn't going to go away. Our church talks about there being ONE way..and Jesus being the ONLY way. At some point she's going to be confused as she continues on in her Sunday school education. Should we switch churches? Or am I the wrong one? Is something wrong with my perception of the truth...I mean after all...isn't what I'm feeling wrong?...It does go against the Bible?...I mean...have I become the type of Christian I would have mocked years ago...one that pursues practices her faith with mediocrity and hypocrisy. I mean...I really can't take out the bad stuff but leave the good, can I?

Burnt Toast Chronicles: My First Post...

Hi everyone out there...if there is anyone out there that is reading this. I've tried a couple other blogs concentrating on other subjects but they never really went anywhere. Maybe I wasn't patient enough. Finally, it dawned on me...why don't I just have one blog where I can share everything? My hopes...my dreams...my failures...my beliefs...my questions. My Journey.

I am 28 and a mother of two young children. I am a Christian, but I use that term loosely these days because where once I stood on a foundation of rock I now find myself on shifting sands. I have seen shades of gray in the area of religion and philosophy and am at the moment at a type of crossroads of sorts. I have encountered Buddhism as a way of learning more about myself, my emotions, reality and others and have found great peace in its practices. Yet, for 11 years now I have loved and walked with Jesus. Lately though, I've struggled with God's character...a struggle that has lead me to researching the Emergent Church. Right now I still go to a fundamental one, but subjects like contemplative prayer and tolerance are something that cries out for my attention.

Some of these posts will be on thoughts such as those above. Others will share my everyday struggles of being a mom trying to do it right and raise my children with love and laughter...and trying to prevent bills being forwarded to me by a therapist in the future!

Parenting is probably the most longterm, complex job anyone can be given. I've had dreams that have been built and fell away into the ocean like sand castles being carried away by the tide. Dreams of being a journalist, of traveling the world, of having adventures. There's time for some of that still I suppose. But what I've learned is, for me anyways, one of the greatest journeys is revealing the world and all the experiences it has to offer to a child who comes with a clean journal of her own. And those journal entries start with her experiences of you and with you. We have a real responsibility as parents of "doing it right" and not messing up. But we sure do mess up! Me included! Maybe this blog will be an appropriate forum for me and others to share our experiences-our triumph and our failings together. So that we might learn from one another and also gain strength and encouragement from one another.

So here it begins. Daily I'll write...sometimes posting quotes (I love quote!) that have touched me or struck me in some way. My daily experiences and my continual discovery of my faith.

Hope someone actually reads this! :)

~ Jessica